New Mommy Monday #1

I'm super excited for this new guest writing segment... After a little prodding, my sister has agreed to take over my blog on Mondays! With everything on her plate, having a brand new little nugget, I was pretty surprised when she took me up on the offer. But I couldn't be more excited for everyone to get a little glimpse into her world. So from here on out, I declare Mondays, "New Mommy Monday." 

Welcome to the wonderful world of blogging Sister, this is now your space to put all your stuff, too. Hope you enjoy it!

Well, let me begin by apologizing.  You see when my sister asked to me to guest post on her blog my initial reaction was to laugh…for several reasons.  The main two  reasons being that 1)  I never once envisioned being a part of anything entitled “Mommy Mondays” and 2) my life is so frazzled and turned upside down right now that I’m lucky if I can put together a coherent sentence or even finish one without being distracted by something else.  Reason #2 is why I am apologizing.  I love reading my sister’s blog.  She has a way with words.  I feel like I might be disappointing a few of her readers with my bumbled thoughts on this new mommy life.  Don’t get me wrong, I love to write…in my journal…where no one else can read/judge it….  My sister however insists that this is a good idea.   She says that other new moms may enjoy it.  So there you go.  If this sucks and Mommy Mondays are a bust, blame it on her. 

Our original plan for this segment of her blog was to start this Monday with thoughts on Mother’s Day, but as Sunday was coming to a close I seriously began to doubt that this Monday’s deadline was going to be met.  I’ve come to the conclusion that babies have this radar that alerts them anytime Mom is trying to accomplish something (i.e. eat, check email, eat, go to the bathroom, sleep, eat, and most especially blog) and immediately wakes them up.  It’s remarkable how Emma can be dead asleep and suddenly wake up the second I sit down.  It’s a gift really, one that I haven’t quite adjusted to yet.  But tonight a Mother’s Day miracle has occurred and my precious baby is asleep at 9:30….9:30!!!!  And so is my husband.  This means I have an hour and a half of peace and quiet and my computer before I have to feed her again.  I should be sleeping while she’s sleeping as many, many, many people have instructed me but sometimes writing in the quiet dark living room with a glass of milk and a giant piece of my mom’s chocolate sheet cake is just as therapeutic. 

As I sit here thinking about my first Mother’s Day, I’m still a little bit in shock.  It sill has not quite registered that I am a mom, that I get to celebrate Mother’s Day for a whole new reason this year.  I feel like I’ve joined some special club, one that I’m not sure I’ve earned my spot in yet.  I have after all only been doing this for 2 months.  But despite my newness, I have gained a whole new appreciation for mothers.  Everyone told me I would understand my own mom better after having a baby of my own and it’s true.  It took me these whole two months to truly realize it, but I never gave moms enough credit.  This mom thing is by far the absolute hardest thing I have EVER done (and I’m a middle school art teacher….try having 150 thirteen year olds in and out of your room all day with paint…).  It’s not just the lack of sleep and endless pooping that makes this difficult.  I expected all of that.  It’s the complete emotional exhaustion of loving someone more than you ever thought possible and the giving of yourself so completely and not even realizing it until you lay down at night that completely caught me by surprise. 

My body and my mind have taken a beating over the last several months and I have found myself doing and saying things I never imagined, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.  I can’t imagine life without her.  After experiencing these things personally, I found myself today feeling so bad for every year I treated Mother’s Day with a last minute/half ass attitude (although I’m sure I’ll be repaid by my own daughter one day) Mom, I want to take this time to personally say I’m sorry for the many gifts of coupon books and candles over the years. You deserve SO much more.  Like a hot bath with a glass of wine in complete silence…or maybe that’s just my wishful thinking right now.  I could go on and on (as I did in my journal earlier) about all of my thoughts on Mother’s Day but I’m going to leave it at this and also leave with a huge thank you to every mom out there.  A genuine thank you from your children that are either too little or too cool or too busy to say it. YOU are incredible.  Our world would not function without you….literally.  I’ll also leave you with a few incredibly cute pics of my own little one that made me a momma this year.  How could it not all be worth it when you see that smile.  

That’s all the thanks I need.  Life is sweet.

On My Mother's Day gift from "Emma," aka the hubs.

A swing for my girl who loves being outside!