Sara's Mommy Monday post this week is priceless. Seriously has me giggling out loud- Hope you all enjoy it!
**Disclaimer – If you are a huge animal rights activist or frown upon gun use…You may not approve of this post. If that’s the case, here’s a cute baby picture for you and you may be on your way**
When my sister asked me to do this blog segment, her exact words were “it doesn’t have to be all poopy diapers and breast pumps…just everyday life.” Well here you go…this post is all about everyday life and a mom simply protecting her homestead pioneer woman style.
The particular week I’m writing about started out much like
any other.
On Monday Emma started her week off by getting milk drunk in
honor of our dear friend Annika’s 21st birthday. We thought it was the only appropriate way to
celebrate.
On Tuesday I decided to stop procrastinating and clean out
my closet…ugh…I currently own about five different wardrobes. Please tell me I’m not the only new mom that
has this issue. I can’t exactly fit into
my old clothes and I refuse to wear any more maternity clothes (except for the
stretchy pants…I love those I’m not going to lie) so I’m stuck with a crazy
assortment of clothes in about 5 different sizes…Oh well.
On Wednesday my precious girl turned 2 months old!! I can’t
believe it! Time has absolutely flown by! We celebrated with some cute pictures
and some not so fun shots L
On Thursday, the normal routine took an unexpected twist. Who
would have thought that Thursday would be the most exciting day of the
week? Oh Thursday, you sneaky day. You’re right between hump day and the day that
gives everyone hope for the weekend. No
one expects anything noteworthy to happen on Thursday. But this week it did.
On Thursday, a squirrel…….wait for it………ate my mother’s day
present. (Yes I’ve been watching a lot of How I Met Your Mother lately). You know, the swing that I posted a picture
of a couple weeks ago.
My first Mother’s Day
present ever and a squirrel ate it. But
let me back up a bit.
My husband and I bought our first home together about a year
and a half ago. We love our home. It’s nothing huge or fancy or new but it’s
home and we LOVE the location. It’s on a
quiet dead-end street and backs up to a creek and some green space that no one
can ever build on. It’s almost like
having a park for a backyard. At any
given time, you can find families playing, flying kites, fishing for tadpoles,
or see our wealthy red-neck neighbors (that we desperately wish would move)
ride their four wheelers. This creek of
ours also brings in some sweet wildlife to our neighborhood. It’s not unusual to look out the kitchen
window and see bunnies, several types of birds, and huge cranes (pretty cool). But
the creek can also bring about some not so nice creatures too. For instance last night we awoke to the sound
of what can only be described as two monkeys doing the deed outside our
window. Any ideas on what animal that
might be? We have no idea (We’re just
hoping it wasn’t the four wheeling red-neck neighbors… ).
It also brings in skunks, ginormous opossums,
an occasional snake and…squirrels, lots of them. For the record, I hate squirrels. They’re just rats with bushy tails. Why it’s
ok for squirrels to roam around the streets and not rats, I don’t
understand. And now I have an even
bigger reason to hate them.
As I was passing by the kitchen window Thursday morning I
looked out and saw a giant squirrel sitting on my swing. I immediately went out to chase the bushy
tailed rat off my beloved swing only to find that he had been ripping apart the
seam on my swing cushion.
Are you kidding me?? As I angrily stormed back in the house,
texting my husband about this horrendous crime, I passed back by the kitchen
window and saw him there AGAIN. What in
the world?!? This time I was irate. Who
was this squirrel and what was he doing to my poor swing?
FIVE times, this squirrel came back to
torture my swing. FIVE times! That’s
when my husband received this text message.
Now I should have known better than to text my husband to
bring me a pellet gun…I really didn’t think he would take me seriously…but he
did. In fact he came home from work around lunch time, placed this beauty of a
bb gun on the table and said Happy Mother’s Day. Oh yes.
I have THE BEST husband in the world.
The next few hours (or days rather…we’re still hunting
squirrels two weeks later) were spent seeking revenge on one very large
squirrel. (No, I promise we’re not the
redneck neighbors I referred to earlier.)
And before you get all up on your soap box about animals and guns look
at these sweet pictures of my girl on her swing and then think about how this
squirrel tried to ruin that sweet smile.
We started with an empty laundry detergent container and
some target practice and then moved on to hunting down the real thing. Now, I’m not a hunter and I have a very hard
time inflicting pain on anything (my sister used to take full advantage of this
fact when we were younger) but there is something invigorating about seeking
revenge on a squirrel. Maybe I’m bored
and just need to get out of the house more, I don’t know, but I had WAY too
much fun with this. And when word spread to our families of how we were
spending our afternoon, they came over to join in on the fun too. Turns out, hunting squirrels is good stress
relief from work. (NO, I SWEAR we’re not the rednecks of the neighborhood.)
After a few shots and misses, we quickly learned that
opening up the back door to run outside and shoot squirrels actually just
scared the squirrels away. It also elicited
remarks from our redneck neighbors who were unknowingly sitting on their back
porch when I ran out all Annie Oakley style shooting a bb gun....
“If you kill it
you have to eat it!” and “Bring it over
we’ll make some squirrel dumplings!" (See,
I told you we weren’t the rednecks. What
is this, Duck Dynasty?? ) Anyway, in case you were wondering, the appropriate
way to shoot squirrels without scaring them is through the kitchen window in
the comfort of your air conditioning.
Well, long story short (yes this is a long post, but I’m
leaving out the details of spending date night going to buy a bigger gun and
how the hubs actually did kill a squirrel on Saturday and I almost cried…) we
didn’t kill any squirrels on Thursday. We
did scare the living daylights out of some and I think we sent a very clear
message because even though we spent the weekend peering out windows like we
were under attack, we didn’t see many squirrels. We also made friends with our neighbors who
actually offered to move their giant RV away from our yard (God has been listening
to our prayers!)
And most importantly, I
now get to look down and enjoy this view on my swing in peace.
I am rolling on my sofa right now. How dare that squirrel eat your Mothers Day present! But the milk drunk picture kind of has all the others beat :) I don't know though....you and the little gun is pretty great! Glad I was there to experience first hand or I might think you were exaggerating a bit, haha!
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